FYI: I read a lot. It's pretty much all I do when I have some free time. I enjoy analyzing and thinking about what I read and I tend to pick it apart. My thoughts or musings might not be intelligent, but they're just my thoughts. Onward...
SONNET 29
When, in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries
And look upon myself and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possess'd,
Desiring this man's art and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.
I remember reading this long ago, back in the dark ages of the 90's when I was in high school and I suppose I didn't pay it much attention, or just wasn't in the same frame of mind I'm in right now, but Jen had posted a video link of Matthew Macfadyum (Macfadyen) reading this and it really struck home with me. I've now read it so many times I've committed it to memory (which is no easy feat for me, let me tell you). I've not decided if it weighs on me or releases some sort of pressure in me when I repeat it to myself. I can relate to the whole thing, I think I know the feelings behind it. The first eight lines I can understand on a very deep level. There are things I love to do, that I love to share with others, but I always feel as if it's not good enough. My poems, my paintings...I feel they are amature at best, but I love to write and paint. I look at other people's work and wonder why I can't do that. The reality of my art always seems to fall far short of my vision. I don't know if all artistic people carry around this sense of their work not being what they want it to be, or if it's just me, but I can relate. I'm not a jealous person; I think jealousy is a wasted emotion, but there is always a twinge when I see someone's work and know that I'll never live up to that level of greatness. It's enough to drive a person mad.
I can also relate to the last six lines of this sonnet. There is only one person in my life that I can look at and it seems as if all of my problems seem silly in comparison, that's my daughter. I can feel sorry for myself for a week straight then when I see her I know that she is the most beautiful thing I'll create. If I never put pen to paper again, or brush to canvas, I've already created a masterpiece in her. She is beautiful and she is the only thing that keeps me grounded.
At any rate, it's a lovely poem. Of course it's a lovely poem, it's Shakespeare. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
Picking Apart The Classics: Sonnet 29
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1 comments:
Oh MacFadyum! All I hear now when I rad this is his voice "Featured like him, like him with friends possess'd". I have read this before this past month and in all honesty thought it sweet while it lasted and then it slipped from my mind. Now that I've heard it repeatedly and dwelled on it I'll remember it, or most of it anyway.
I don't know if all artistic people feel like epic fail, some obviously are egomaniacs and think even their watery turds are masterworks. lol. Personally I am always in fear of being substandard. Especially with my sewing. I see things other people make and can see their crooked stitches and I lose it if I see it in my own work and somehow still feel like their shit is better. Don't get me started on the painting and drawing! lol I am a perfectionist so I've had to learn what perfection IS for my ability level and just live with it. I'm no great writer so I substitute humor for talent in that arena.
You under estimate your talent, and even if your work isn't exact perfection in your eyes, you've poured yourself into it and I don't know to me that makes the great works... I'm not saying they are van gogh's, but it's hard to explain. It's the feeling and the effort behind something that makes it great I think not the end product so much. It doesn't NEED to be perfect.
I make no sense and my spelling is for shit!
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